Max's next adventure as a newly-widowed elderly man:
MAX: So along came my pal. His name is Harry Marsh. Now I introduce you to him. He's a fella that I worked with him, like with Barney. He lives in Miami Beach. He has a condominium apartment. And his wife died just one day before Mom did. It so happens, a coincidence. So actually it's about four months, and he's got the same trouble as I have. Only, he's younger. He's sixty-seven, sixty-eight, a handsome man, and doesn't wanna get married. One day he doesn't wanna get married, the other day he does wanna get married. So one woman got hold of him, and he doesn't know how to get out of it. How to get out of her?
Max seems very engrossed in this social adventure. A good distraction, not personally challenging?
hotel sponsored by the ILGWU: possibly the Unity House in the Poconos, not at the seashore. Shanks Paramount: Probably "Schenk's Paramount Hotel" a classic Catskills Borscht Belt era hotel in Thompson, Sullivan County New York, no longer in existence. The Delano: A Catskils resort in Monticello, NY, no longer in operation.
Lisa speculates on the motivations and time-scales of recently-widowed elders
NARRATOR: It's fascinating how when one grows old, a natural impulse after a spouse dies is to get married again, in some cases, as soon as possible. Young people —who have their— entire lives in front of them may take their time, and rightfully so, in choosing a new mate. But when one lives in a community where everyone lives with the nearness of death, it's no wonder remarriage is so quickly sought after.
Have changes occurred during the decades since this was written? Currently, in popular culture, if not by objective statistics, elder communities are replete with relationships at all stages, with nary a mention of marriage. Be that is it may, clearly:
NARRATOR: Max was not as ready as his friend to marry again.
He was, however, eager to get away from Marlen Gardens — if not all the way to New York, then at least to an oceanside resort. The money aspect was an important factor as well. In this fashion Max began to ease back into a productive routine, in a slow attempt to re-establish his presence.
It isn't surprising that Max was struggling to re-define his social identity as a recent widower. Taking a break from his accustomed environment might be helpful. It is harder to understand his actual financial situation.
IMAGE: On a cruise to the Caribbean 1970
In any case, he and Harry Marsh seemed have firmed up plans for some kind of excursion, right away, but with flexibily.
MAX: We were supposed to go in Thursday, tomorrow. But we are putting it off from day to day – there is always something that I cannot leave the house. The Frigidaire has to be fixed, I had to wait for the man, the exterminator had to come. But eventually, this weekend we'll decide. Either we'll go in, or I change my plans. I really like that, if I could exist for the future, if I would have to go into a place like that. And here, there's not much to lose, it's not far from here, I take the bus, two buses. I come there, I can stay a week, I could come home, I could stay two weeks, or three weeks, as much as I want.
IMAGE: untitled Jenny? In wheelchair at left, Max at right
Max was indecisive.
NARRATOR: Acknowledging the fact that he was procrastinating, Max assured Paul that sooner or later he would decide. What concerned him most was a fear that this hotel would not be good for him, or that he wouldn't fit with the others. He was really trying to understand and accept the freedom he had to do whatever he wanted – and to accept the responsibility for those decisions. It was also a time when he was restoring his independence and proving to himself and to his family that he could take care of himself.
All this is likely but it was not necessarily so. Would that Lisa have shared more about how she drew these conclusions.
IMAGE: untitled, Max? One hand on a white chair
MAX: But Harry Marsh's mind is not set just as my mind is not set. Every day I got different plans. And this is the situation, undecided people. Incidentally this man had about three heart attacks over the last few years, little heart attacks. And he has to watch out, whatever he does he has to watch out. And I'm telling him, that he changes his mind, and I change my mind. To tell you that I am wholeheartedly for it would be not fair, something is missing in my life, and you all know that and I don't know if anybody could help me. Everything reminds me... and I see what's going on around, and I make peace with whatever it is. But I can't find no resolution, I said I cannot see the near future, how it's gonna take shape.
So this is the situation, and I painted you a good picture about this fella Harry Marsh, but I'm sure that you and anybody else can paint a nice picture about me too! I'm not better than him. I also change my mind, my plans everyday – two times, three times – even to decide what to eat for lunch or for supper I can change my mind three times in one half an hour. So this is I suppose a sign of old age, and the old people-we people ask for old age, we gotta take it and like it!